Posts from the ‘Kapampangan’ Category



Keti bangsang Pilipinas, alang lugal magpakasakit nung Kaleldwan liban mu karing Kapampangan. Atin man mekad mapilan dapot iti ali kasing sapsap wangis kapingas ding Kapampangan.
Bakit kaya? Bakit ila mu ing ating panugali o panata king anti kaniti? Kareting panatang mesabi, miyaliwa ing akit tamung pamagpakasakit ing akit karela: mamusan kurus o maglakad kilu-kilumetru maka-imalan Nazareno; mamusan kurus papalasan at ibabatbat karing sari sakit paldak at palupalu; gagapang kereng dalan malipugpug atnang kabatu; magsalibatbat alang patugut papaspasan gulut king dadayang sasayu; manambayuk dutung misna king kabayat nung nukarin bitis at gamat makatanikala la kaniti; mamusan kurus makayagpa king gulut da; magpatali o magpayatyat king makatalakad kurus o kaya, magpapaku pa at aliwa pa….
Bakit kaya menasang Kapampangan la mu detang gaganap ketang anti kaniti? Ala kang akit king anti kaniting panugali liban mu kareng Kapampangan. Nukarin man labwad Pilipinas, ding Kapampangan ila mu ing malugud gaganap kaniting makapagmulalang panugali. Ilokano la man o Pangasinense o Tagalog, ala lang apanugalian anti kaniti. Bicolano la man o Binisaya o Muslim la man, ala lang tradisyun kalupa niti.
Kapampangan la man Pampanga o Kapampangan la man Tarlac, o Kapampangan la man Bataan, Bulacan o Nujeva Ecija, bakit kaya, nung maleldo, ila mung magpakasakit karening panata anti kaniti.
Marayil iti yang pakibat kaniti. Uling ding Kapampangan ila ing menimunang mig-imagsik kareng Kastila king Kababan ketang October 1660, ing pamamalaspas king katawan (flagellation) ya ing timbas ding paring Agustinos antimong kapagsisyan keretang kasalangsangan gewa da laban kareng Kastilang mamuntukan. Migit malugud at mapamintu kareng pakisabi ding Agustinos, kaysa kareng utus ding mamuntukan alcalde’t gobernadorcillo, iting pamagpinitencia ya pin ing pemintuan da. Iti yang pemaligwan dang pamagsisi ketang pamaglaban o kasalanan da karing Kastila menalipusta karela.
Tanda ning kababan lub at ganaka ding Kapampangan karing pari da, at kanita, e na la mulit pasibayu, ing salitang “panata” mitimu ya karing sablang Kapampangan tanda ning pakamal da karing Agustinong mipoli king panga-Kristyano da. Tanda mu naman nung bakit malugud lang pari ding Kapampangan kaysa kareng mamuntukan karela!
Banal Maleldo ngan pu kekayu.


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by the International Association of Multidisciplinary Research (IAMURE)
at Marriott Hotel, Jakarta, Indonesia
on January 21-23, 2013.


Oral history is the collection and study of historical information about individuals, families, important events, or everyday life using audiotapes, videotapes, or transcriptions of planned interviews. These interviews are conducted with people who participated in or observed past events and whose memories and perceptions of these are to be preserved as an aural record for future generations. Oral history strives to obtain information from different perspectives, and most of these cannot be found in written sources.

Oral history has become an international movement in historical research. Oral historians in different countries have approached the collection, analysis, and dissemination of oral history in different ways. However, it should also be noted that there are many ways of creating oral histories and carrying out the study of oral history even within individual national contexts.

Along this premise, the elders of Lubao, Pampanga, (Lubao is considered to be the Cradle of Kapampangan Civilization and Christianity) traditionally believed that the sacred Cross of the Crucified Christ was received by their ancestors led by Datu Macabulus after they capitulated to the Spaniards in September 14, 1571. Oral accounts indicated that the holy Image of the Crucified Cross was lost for a long period of time but was believed to re-appear sometimes in the middle of 1700. Since then, it was enshrined in barangay Sta. Cruz and is venerated by its countless devotees because of the countless favors and miracles the holy Cross has been sustaining them.

However, some people were skeptical about its authenticity and age; hence, this research. For this purpose, the investigatory research will employ the scientific inquiry method using carbon dating procedures as the primary method to yield empirical results.

Radiocarbon, or carbon 14, is an isotope of the element carbon that is unstable and weakly radioactive. The stable isotopes are carbon 12 and carbon 13.
Carbon 14 is continually being formed in the upper atmosphere by the effect of cosmic ray neutrons on nitrogen 14 atoms. It is rapidly oxidized in air to form carbon dioxide and enters the global carbon cycle.
Plants and animals assimilate carbon 14 from carbon dioxide throughout their lifetimes. When they die, they stop exchanging carbon with the biosphere and their carbon 14 content then starts to decrease at a rate determined by the law of radioactive decay.

Radiocarbon dating is essentially a method designed to measure residual radioactivity. By knowing how much carbon 14 is left in a sample, the age of the organism when it died can be known. It must be noted though that radiocarbon dating results indicate when the organism was alive but not when a material from that organism was used.

The scientific results of the study will provide not only empirical information to the on-going inquest of the Research Office of the Tarlac State University along social, technological, cultural, industrial and scientific realms but will also supply the Philippines with additional and valuable literature vis-a -vis church heritage.

The results will bolster the authentication and validation of oral traditions through scientific inquiry. This study, which is a pioneering research undertaking in the university on radiocarbon dating procedures, will invite the attention of local government and church authorities to involve themselves in allowing their surviving treasures i.e. church antiques, ancestral porcelains and the like to undergo scientific examination to bolster their local pride and heritage; thus, a boost to local tourism industry.

The results of the study will not only serve as local pride to the Municipal Government of Lubao, Pampanga and Archdiocese of San Fernando, Pampanga but as a national pride for the Tarlac State University in the field of socio-cultural-ecclesiastical research in exploring new investigative frontier. Similarly, its impact will serve as a great contributory to the re-discovery of Philippine’s national history and heritage.

The general objective of the study is to identify the age of the holy Crucifix using radiocarbon dating method. Specifically, it aims to carry out the study by identifying the age of the sacred Cross of the Crucified Image of Christ through radiocarbon dating procedures, and to provide scientific information to the people vis-à-vis results of the carbon dating analysis.

Specifically, the study aimed to:
1. Verify the age of the cross sample that was presumed to be brought by the Augustinian Friars in the Philippines in September 14, 1571 according to some documents and oral accounts through carbon-dating analysis.
2. For some time, the cross and the image were separated. To prove that the pieces are compatible, similarities in the matrices of radio-carbon data will justify that the two are compatible.

Methods and Materials

Radiocarbon dating (sometimes simply known as carbon dating) is a radiometric dating method that uses the naturally occurring radioisotope carbon-14 (14C) to estimate the age of carbon-bearing materials up to about 58,000 to 62,000 years.

The technique of radiocarbon dating was developed by Willard Libby and his colleagues at the University of Chicago in 1949. Libby estimated that the steady state radioactivity concentration of exchangeable carbon-14 would be about 14 disintegrations per minute (dpm) per gram. He demonstrated the accuracy of radiocarbon dating by accurately estimating the age of wood from a series of samples for which the age was known, including an ancient Egyptian royal barge of 1850 BC. ( dating)
Using this investigative method, the objectives of the research were carried out with the results presented in the foregoing discussion.

This undertaking is an inter-agency research that endeavored to provide, facilitate, and conduct actual procedures in collecting samples to authenticate the oral tradition of the devotees of the Holy Cross of the Crucified Christ located in Sta. Cruz, Lubao, Pampanga, which they have been devoted with since time past.

The age of the holy Image was determined through radiocarbon dating procedures. The research was started January 2012 until April, 2012.

Initially, the researchers facilitated links with local and national agencies as regards protocols and carbon dating service providers. Unfortunately, no local radiocarbon dating agency in the country today is available to conduct the objectives of the research.

Finally, the proponents succeeded in connecting links with the Beta Analytic Inc. based in Miami, Florida, USA, which is probably one of the largest radiocarbon dating service providers in the world at present.

The Research and Development Office of the Tarlac State University through its Research Office provided technical assistance to the local government of Lubao, Pampanga. The municipal government of the town represented by Mayor Mylin Pineda-Cayabyab agreed to finance the services of the radiocarbon dating agency.

Collaboratively, the researchers created a working team composed of archeologist, chemist, planning officer, parish priests, carpenter, photographer, and municipal mayor to carry out the methods and procedures on the technical components of the project i.e. sampling, transport of samples, and the likes. Collaborations with the local parish priests, the Archdiocese of San Fernando, Pampanga and the
National Museum of the Philippines were made as regards the undertaking.

The radiocarbon dating agency provided the method and procedures with regard the technical aspects of the study. Classified as archeological artifacts, the samples were transported to the radiocarbon dating agency (Beta Analytic Inc.) via cargo flight of the Federal Express in Clarkfield Freeport, Angeles City, Pampanga.

Two weeks later, the radiocarbon results were provided to the researchers and chief executive of Lubao, Pampanga.
Wood samples were collected from the cross and from the image. Standard procedures were conducted prior to shipment to Beta-Analytic Laboratory for radio carbon dating:

A. Wood Collection and Sampling:

1. Select an area that does not show signs of rot or insect activity. Also make sure that the area does not show signs of being treated with shellac, oil, glue, other preservatives or additives.
2. Ideally the wood should be collected from the outer-most section of the piece, this will ensure that the outer-most growth rings are dated and provide the approximate time of death of the tree or branch, as close as physically possible.
3. Obtain two (2) new, wood twist-drill bits. Approximate size recommended is 5/32” for the first drilling and 1/8” for the second drilling. These drill bits should be cleaned prior to use with acetone to remove any machine oils and then allowed to air dry.
4. Drill a 5/32” hole approximately 1/4” to 3/8” deep and discard these drill shaving. It may be necessary to drill deeper if the wood is rotted or altered. Try to get some wood that has been isolated from any sort of surface contamination.
5. Lay the object on its side and place a piece of aluminum foil under the area to be drilled approximately 4” by 4” store bought foil is fine and requires no precleaning.
6. Drill the second hole with the 1/8” drill bit into the center of the 5/32” pilot hole and allow the shavings to collect onto the aluminum foil. Collect approximately 100-200 milligrams of wood sample shavings.
7. Once the shavings have been collected onto the aluminum foil, fold the foil such that you make a small pouch. Label the pouch with the sample code or name. Place this aluminum foil pouch in a zip-lock container and label.

B. Radio-Carbon Dating:

The samples were shipped for testing to Beta-Analytic Inc., known for more than 30 years; it is the pioneer in the radio-carbon dating business. It is the only radiocarbon dating laboratory accredited to the ISO 17025 standard. The samples were treated and analyzed as follows:

A. Principal Methods of Measuring Radiocarbon


There are three principal techniques used to measure carbon 14 content of any given sample gas proportional counting, liquid scintillation counting, and accelerator mass spectrometry.

Gas proportional counting is a conventional radiometric dating technique that counts the beta particles emitted by a given sample. Beta particles are products of radiocarbon decay. In this method, the carbon sample is first converted to carbon dioxide gas before measurement in gas proportional counters takes place.

Liquid scintillation counting is another radiocarbon dating technique that was popular in the 1960s. In this method, the sample is in liquid form and a scintillator is added. This scintillator produces a flash of light when it interacts with a beta particle. A vial with a sample is passed between two photomultipliers, and only when both devices register the flash of light that a count is made.

Accelerator mass spectrometry (AMS) is a modern radiocarbon dating method that is considered to be the more efficient way to measure radiocarbon content of a sample. In this method, the carbon 14 content is directly measured relative to the carbon 12 and carbon 13 present. The method does not count beta particles but the number of carbon atoms present in the sample and the proportion of the isotopes.

B. Radiocarbon Dating Standards
The radiocarbon age of a certain sample of unknown age can be determined by measuring its carbon 14 content and comparing the result to the carbon 14 activity in modern and background samples.
The principal modern standard used by radiocarbon dating labs was the Oxalic Acid I obtained from the National Institute of Standards and Technology in Maryland. This oxalic acid came from sugar beets in 1955. Around 95% of the radiocarbon activity of Oxalic Acid I is equal to the measured radiocarbon activity of the absolute radiocarbon standard—a wood in 1890 unaffected by fossil fuel effects.
When the stocks of Oxalic Acid I were almost fully consumed another standard was made from a crop of 1977 French beet molasses. The new standard, Oxalic Acid II, was proven to have only a slight difference with Oxalic Acid I in terms of radiocarbon content.

Over the years, other secondary radiocarbon standards have been made.
Radiocarbon activity of materials in the background is also determined to remove its contribution from results obtained during a sample analysis. Background radiocarbon activity is measured, and the values obtained are deducted from the sample’s radiocarbon dating results. Background samples analyzed are usually geological in origin of infinite age such as coal, lignite, and limestone.

C. Radiocarbon Dating Measurements
A radiocarbon measurement is termed conventional radiocarbon age (CRA). The CRA conventions include (a) usage of the Libby half-life, (b) usage of Oxalic Acid I or II or any appropriate secondary standard as the modern radiocarbon standard, (c) correction for sample isotopic fractionation to a normalized or base value of -25.0 per mille relative to the ratio of carbon 12/carbon 13 in the carbonate standard VPDB – Cretaceous belemnite formation at Peedee in South Carolina, (d) zero BP (Before Present) is defined as AD 1950, and (e) the assumption that global radiocarbon levels are constant.
Standard errors are also reported in a radiocarbon dating result, hence the “±” values. These values have been derived through statistical means.

D. Accelerator Mass Spectrometry
Mass spectrometers detect atoms of specific elements according to their atomic weights. They, however, do not have the sensitivity to distinguish atomic isobars (atoms of different elements that have the same atomic weight, such as in the case of carbon 14 and nitrogen 14—the most common isotope of nitrogen).
Thanks to nuclear physics, mass spectrometers have been fine-tuned to separate a rare isotope from an abundant neighboring mass, and accelerator mass spectrometry was born. A method has finally been developed to detect carbon 14 in a given sample and ignore the more abundant isotopes that swamp the carbon 14 signal.




As presented on the spread sheet of the results and the calendar calibration graphs, the results disclosed that at 2-sigma statistics (95% probability), 2 dates yielded overlapping ranges, indicating that the results are statistically identical. Overlaps occur at Cal AD 1680 to 1690, Cal AD 1730, Cal 1810, Cal AD 1920 to 1930 and post AD 1950.

In an inquiry with Ron Hatfield, the deputy director/quality manager of radiocarbon dating agency (Beta Analytic Inc.), he explained “the result means that if no recent contamination was introduced into the wood which could not be removed by the acid and alkali treatments performed, then the tree growth rings dated for each sample were last in equilibrium with the atmosphere (alive) in one of these ranges. “

As he further explained “radiocarbon dating cannot determine exactly which range the rings actually represent, but it is one of them for each sample.”

It is to be noted that the prior to the pretreatment (acid/alkali/acid) procedure, the deputy director suggested special pretreatment (acid/alkali/acid/cellulose extraction) considerations prior to the laboratory analysis. The suggestion was made due to the heavy presence of paint, varnishes, oils and the likes in the samples. Special pretreatment is necessary to maximize the reduction of chemical contaminants that allow cellulose extractions easier for final analysis. However, it may or may not yield significant result than the pretreatment protocol that also needed added cost. As prior agreed, the researchers opted and deemed for the pretreatment analysis to proceed.

Beta-316804 (The Wooden Cross) yielded ranges of Cal AD 1650 to 1690 (Cal BP 300 to 260), Cal AD 1730 to 1810 (Cal BP 220 to 140), Cal AD 1920 to post 1950 (Cal BP 30 to post 1950)


Beta-316805 (The Image of Christ) yielded ranges of Cal AD 1680 to 1730 (Cal BP 270 to 220), Cal AD 1810 to 1930 (Cal BP 140 to 20), Cal AD Post 1950.

If the expected age was somewhere around 1570AD as traditionally believed by the residents, the results indicated that the very oldest that the dates seemed to represent would be the overlap from around the time of AD 1680 to1690. This is to assume if all the growth rings dated from both the samples were the same.

Seemingly, the age appears to be about 100 years later than was expected. This would mean that either the actual time the cross arrived in Lubao, Pampanga was more recent than historically reported or that the wood was contaminated by more recent organics such as penetrated oils, varnishes, paints, etc.

As observed by the Mr. Hatfield, the wood samples looked physically very clean and similar but this does not rule out a more recent chemical contaminant such as those indentified above.

Where does the contamination emanate from?

There are considerations which should be noted on the results of the study. First is the ability of the radiocarbon dating technique (2 sigma calibration) results to predict perfect outcome due to some calculation error factor i.e. carbon dating test allows 5% probability of error. Second is the noticeable heavy contamination of the Crucifix with hardened coals, paints, varnishes, oils and the like that blackened the Cross and Christ’s Image. Largely, the presence of these chemicals is attributed to the cultural traditions of the people to preserve the Crucifix against deterioration. Hence, the huge contaminations are both ancient and recent, which probably and largely affected the results of the analyses.

However, Mr. Hatfield further noted and suggested that if the more recent ages cannot be resolved in terms of the historical reporting of the time of arrival of the Crucifix, then the only way to know if there was some effect from more recent contamination would be to take some of the remaining wood shavings for one of the samples that they are still keeping. After the special pretreatments has been performed prior the final analysis, a new date will reveal if the age comes in agreement with the historical reporting with regard the arrival of the Crucifix in the area. As previously mentioned, however, it may or may not produce new result.

VI. Summary of Findings

1. Radiocarbon dating analyses showed that Beta-316804 (The Wooden Cross) indicated a measured radiocarbon age Cal AD 1650 to 1690 (Cal BP 300 to 260) compared to Beta-316805 (Image of Christ) Cal AD 1680 to 1730 (Cal BP 270 to 220).

2. Results disclosed that at 2-sigma statistics (95% probability), 2 dates yielded overlapping ranges, indicating that the results are statistically identical. Overlaps occur at Cal AD 1680 to 1690, Cal AD 1730, Cal 1810, Cal AD 1920 to 1930 and post AD 1950.

3. Results did not rule out human and laboratory (chemical) contamination which directly or indirectly influenced the results of the analyses. Special pretreatment procedure was suggested to possibly validate the current results.

4. Analyses of samples indicated that samples came from the same tree. Beta-316804 (The Wooden Cross) is a little older than Beta-316805 (Christ’s Image).

VII. Conclusions:

Based on the findings of the study, the following conclusions are drawn:

1. Results of the study revealed the proximity of the radiocarbon dating analyses to the traditional accounts of the people of Lubao, Pampanga. Considering the highly sensitive nature of analytical chemistry apparatuses, the time ranges (ages) drawn from the chemical analyses were closely proximate to the oral history accounts of the place. Notwithstanding, the errors on probability and contamination are important considerations which must be accounted as regards imperfect results of the analyses.
2. The results revealed the antiquity of the Crucifix (Cross and Image of Christ). The results predicate the customary and traditional social and religious norms of the people as regards their reverence and devotion to the Crucifix even in this contemporary milieu.
3. Results of the analyses were limited only to the perceived period when the Crucifix arrived in Lubao, Pampanga. It did not include the actual age of the tree when it was cut down or harvested from its original abode. It did not also include the condition of the Cross and Christ’s Image after they were rediscovered by some residents after its long period of concealment in the ground.

VIII. Recommendations

The following recommendations are derived from the conclusions:

1. To further bolster the result of the study, the proposed special treatment for the remaining wood samples offered by the radiocarbon dating agency must be availed to obtain a new perspective with regard the radiocarbon age of the sample.
2. The Archdiocese of San Fernando, Pampanga and National Commission on Culture and Arts should support the preservation of the Crucifix of the Holy Cross because of ecclesiastical and cultural significance.
3. The people of Lubao, Pampanga must be proud of the history and heritage of the Crucifix because of the glory that it has contributed to the nation. Its impact can contribute to the fertilization of spirituality and tourism.
4. The history of the Crucifix should be reintroduced and reinvigorated through book writings and construction of museum to reverberate its place in church history.
5. The Crucifix should be given due homage and historical recognition by the National Historical Commission of the Philippines.

IX. Documentation

The Image of Apo Sto Cristo de Lubao

The Team

Wood sample taken from the wooden Cross (Beta 316804)

Wood sample taken from Christ’s Image (Beta 316805)

Web Design by Engr. Mark Jason V. Sicat
Photo Credit: Sam C. Nicdao

Upaya Ding Amanu

UPAYA NING AMANU                                                                                                                              (Pamibule king Santiago 3:1-12)                                                                                                                 Rodrigo M. Sicat

Makananu kang mangamanu? Deng bang kekang amanung sasabyan babie lang sikanan at kapayapan kapilubluban o babie lang migit pang kaplas salu?

Ing amanu o salita metung yang tyup (sound) o myabe tyup a sisimbul at babie kabaldugan. Yagkas o makasulat, ding amanu dake na la ning kekatamung panga-tau. Deti magsilbing pasiknangan na ka tamu, siran nakatamu panga-tau, panasakitan nakatamu o kaya, ampatan ing sugat ding pusu tamu. Ding amanu atin lang upayang pisasagsagan na la ring tau, at mu naman, mibalangkas at mitangkas pamikakapatad o kaya pagumpisan ning patayan ding tau.

Makananu ing kekang pamangamanu keng aldo mengalabasan? Deng amanung kekang sasabyan atin la bang epektung malalam kareng balang taung makaramdam? Makasiknang la bang lub ding kekang amanu o makasakit lang kapanamdaman?

Pauli ding kekang amanu, itatangal mo ba pangatau kareng masanting salita ding kekang anak, asawa, kaluguran o kaya, karetang tau emu man balu king kekang daralanan? O susugatan mo salu ding lulugud keka pauli detang kekang amanung mapanatu, masalpak at mapanusga? Ing mismu mu bang sarili keka mu yang panasakitan pauli ding mapait mung amanu mismu kaniti?

Yalimbawa neng Santiago ing dila ning tau keng kabayu. Apatunud ta ya ing kabayu pauli na mu ning malati at kaputut bakal, dapot ing tau atnayang pamagkasakit magmintini kareng salita lalual king kayang labi.

Bakit ing tau atnayang pamagkasakit lilisya king pamagsalitang amanu babie palsimi king kayang kaparang tau? Ing pamagmintini kareng kekatamung sasabyan, anti la man kasakit, adapatan ta lang mayap nung iti kekatamung buryanan. Disiplina king sarili yamung kailangan, kanita ing buri nang sabyan ning dila’t labi eya misala.

Nung eme pin akontrol ing kekang sarili, malagwa ya ping rendan ing kabayu kaysa keng dila’t labi ning tau!

Nung eme arenda ing dila, iti pane yang bubugang api king mua. Ken mung nanung bage keng bale, pane kang makipate. Kalual mu keng dalan, ken mung trapik siguradu kang makibungil.

Anang sasabing Dorothy Nevill: “Ing malagung pamipagsalita, eya mu itang buri mung sabyan ketang panaun isipan mung dapat, dapot, dapat mu la namang ipipilpil detang aliwang salita, lalu na’t deti, makapanakit lang kapanamdaman karing menasa.”

 Ing buri nang sabyan: e sablang buri tamung sabyan dapat tamung sasambitlan.

 Antimong pengari, maingat ku kareng salita padugpa ku kareng ana’ku. Nung damdaman dakung malmura o manusga kareng aliwa, migit la pang mabyasang managkas at manusga kaysa kanaku. Nung akakit at daramdaman da kanaku, ing biasa kung manyawad patawad karetang pikasalanan ku, makanyan mu naman ing karelang gawan king migit pang manayun a paralan. Nung magsalita kung alang modu ampon respetu kareng kasabi ku, iti gawan da mu naman karing balang metung karela at karing aliwa pa.

 Iti balu ku uling iti akakit ku. Nung ding ana’ku ila lang gulisakan ku, ila mu namang migugulisakan kaibat ning limang minutu, karetang salita dimdam da kanaku.

Ngeni ku lubus aytindian nung bakit migit kung dapat maging mapanupaya kareng ana’ku at aliwa pang tau. Inya ngeni, kareng anak ku, mimisip at mangisnawa ku pa mung malalam bayu ku magsalita nanu man karela. Apagisip-isip ku, ing kanaku yang dapat isane ing kanakung dila king pamagsalita, kanita, malagwa ku lang asanak lub ding kanakung anak, kamaganak, kasiping bale at kaluguran king mipmung lugud at kabanalan. 

Migit pa kaniti, deti, amanu lang kanakung tutunggen king aldo-aldo king mipmung yumu at pakalulu:

Guinu, gawan mu kung instrumentu king Kekang kapayapan; Nung nukarin atin pamimua, patanman mu kung lugud; Nung nukarin atin pamikasala, pamamatawad; Nung nukarin atin pamiyalinlangan, kasalpantayanan; Nung nukarin atin pamagkasakit, pagasa; Nung nukarin atin dalumdum, sala; Nung nukarin atin lungkut, saya.

Deng amanu apasiknangan naka tamu king kayupayan. Magsilbi na lang ipugung malalam ding kaladwa ding sablang tau. Deng amanu malyari na lang ikumun king legwan ding balang metung kekatamu. Nung deng amanu gamitan la king misnang lugud, ing yatu, miyubug yang labuad misna santing ampong kapayapan.   

Mamili ka bang amanu babye bie kareng kaluguran at pakamalan mo?

 Anang Gautama Buddha: neng deng amanu gagamitan la keng ustu at tutu, ing aske ning yatu mibayu ya sari king payapa at lagu.

Nung Makananu Minuli Kung Talasawa


Dr. Rodrigo M. Sicat


Dakal lang sasabi at maniwala, ing pamakyasawa kanu anti ya waring kamatayan a daratang king bie ning ninu man tau. Iti eku lubus paniwalan ketang bayu ku pamung tau (baintau) anggang ing tune nang kabaldugan dinatang yang anting alisus kanaku.

King katatawlian, akung sasabi kaniting kanakung sarili, tutu ya pin pala ing kasebyan a piyamanuan ding makatua! Ing pamakyasawa anti waring kidlat ya! E muya man piadyan, iti kabud datang ya keka.  Eka man maka adya, ampitan at ampita’na ka.

Iting pamikatagun, aku iting aranasan. Nung bigla aganaka ku iti, matula ku yang pipiling-piling ing buntu’ku potang pasibayu kung babalikdan nung makananu minuli kung talasawa…

Misan abak king trade school (Don Honorio Ventura College of Arts and Trades) king balen Baculud, iya ping kanakung pipagobran, metung yang office memorandum ing kanakung disan at ausan ing prusisu kung pamamunta keta king Office of the President. Iting panabilin, malagua ku yang lingunan, at akung marapal mekikit king kekaming presidenti. Pablasang king trade school bayu-bayu ku pa mu kanita, ing presidenti dakal ya pengutang kanaku. Kaya nang pekibaluan itang dikil king kakankung gagawan karin king Guidance Office, at mu naman, kareta pang aliwang kanakung kagiyuan king pamanyaliksik at pamanuru. Maluat itang kekaming pamisabi at aku na yang gelamanuan kaibat nitang masanting at malalam kekaming pipagkuwentuan. Memun kung masaya lupa, migpasalamat king pamuntuk ning kekaming escuela, at ume nakung mibalik pasibayu ketang kanakung opisina. Antimong alang nanu, kanakung sindu ing likuan a gagawan ku at aku pang sikasuan itang obrang aliwa pa.

Kalulukluk ku pamu karetang gamit yadia ku, itang kekaming janitor mayli na yang inabut kanaku, itang pirmadung administrative order nitang kekaming College President. Aku na yang tutulduan antimong bayung technical staff ning escuela king Center for Interinstitutional Research and Policy Studies (CIRPS) ding State Colleges and Universities in Region III. Iting aguman, iya ing peka think tank ding sablang state colleges and universities keti Kalibutnang Luzon, king pami-puni karing miyaliwang alituntunan ding mamuntukan kareting mesabing pipagaralan.

Bisa kung sanang murung, dapot ala kung akarapat uling iti utus na ya ning kanakung presidenti. Mabilis kung mibalik ketang kayang opisina at malugud kung migpasalamat kanitang tiwala a pigkalub na kanaku. Bayu kami mikawani, kaya na yang inabut kanaku itang bayu pang memorandum, nung nukarin, akung tumagun ketang seminar-workshop at CIRPS technical staff meeting, maganap king farm school (Pampanga Agricultural College) king balen Magalang keng October 23-25, 1986. 

Kanita eku malili papunta king farm school, akung mekisabi king kekaming Presidenti, yang akung maki yagnan karela o kaya, karing kekaming kayabe pang aliwa. Akung mekisabi kaniti uling iting escuela eke binang kabisadu.

Dinatang itang aldo ning kekaming pamaglako at pablasang Kapampangan kaming pare-pareyu atna kaming kasayang mipamiru. Pasadu alas otsu nitang abak, king farm school ning Magalang, masalese kaming miras. Akung lawe-lawe at matunud magumasid karing sabla uling nung ali kanita, aku pamung miras kaniting lugal atna kalwalas bina. Ala kung kakilala karing tau, nune mu detang kayagnan kung menibat Baculud. Manibayu ku man, ing sabla kanaku ngan panigaralan. Aku lang akilala detang miyaliwang technical staff ning CIRPS at detang miyaliwang Presidenti ning Region III. Malugud dakung tinggap detang kanakung kayabe king grupu, at aku mu namang pepakilala da karing presidenti ning Central Luzon. Kanita mismu, aku nang titu ra nung nanu ing kanakung maging obra. Kanita mu rin, simulan kung masaya ing obrang mitutuk kanaku, at e migluat, detang kanakung kakilala, ilang miragdaga’na.

 Metung karing obrang mipaniwala kanaku, iya itang akung maging facilitator ketang lecture a magagampan ketang penandit ita. Kaniting mararapat a gagampan, detang makasulat dang kutang ding participants kanaku lang titipunan at yayabut ketang moderator, kanita, itang tagapagsalita ilang pakibata’na.

 Kaibat nitang mumunang workshop, ding sabla ume lang mengan paugtuan. Akung menintun karetang abe ku Baculud, kanita, akung makyagnan mangan karela. Masaya at matula kaming mipamalita. Anang mengutang kanaku nitang kekaming abe metung:  Rod, ninung kakilala mu Tarlac College of Technology? Ala kung balu, akung kaya mekibat. Pasibayu, aku pang mengutang kanitang abe ku: Nuya karin ing Tarlac College of Technology? Atiyu ya Tarlac! anang mekibat kanaku. Bakit balu daka? Bakit pangutang da ka lagyu at nung talasawa ka kanu? Eku balu, akung karela sinabi. Nukarin ya wari ing Tarlac? akung mengutang pasibayu.

Kabang matula kaming mikukutnanan detang kayabe ku, ume danakung dinakit detang kayabe ku CIRPS, kanita, kekami la pang pisabyan detang kekaming miyaliwa pang gampanan kinabukasan. Kaibat meyari nitang kekaming pulung, kanaku lang belikan pasibayu detang kanakung likuan kayabe Baculud. Ala na kung disan metung man karela, ita pala, minuna na la kanaku, ban magpainawa na ketang kekaming tuknangan dormitoryu. Eku balu nung nanung daptan ku, eku balu nung makananung miras ku ketang dormitoryung misna dayu. Itang lugal kanaku da yang tiru, dapot nung munta kung dili-dili, mekad mawala ku at malili kung siguradu.

Mayap namu naman, atin saken kule asul itang tinulid kanaku. Ilang mengutang at migkusang lub, nung karela buri kung makyagnan uling ilang papunta mu naman ketang lugal a kanakung panintunan. Kasake at kalukluk ku, kitnan daku nung nanu ing kanakung lagyu at nuya karin itang escuelang kanaku penibatan. Kapampangan mu naman ing karelang salita, dapot itang karelang tonu, makatibis ketang matarling kung gege. Kanaku lang matulang pakiramdaman, uling detang karelang lupa, masaya lang kawangis nitang kanaku. Mangutang lang miyaliwa, at aku namang makibat matula. Kabang kukutnan daku, isipan ku nung bakit alang patna itang karelang buring abalu kanaku at pagtakan ku mu naman, nung bakit ala lang gigigit ampong mipangandut potang kanaku lang pakibatan detang sari-sari dang ikukutang. King kanakung kapilubluban, akung matulang mamiru king kanakung sarili: Ay, marayil uling menasa lang babai at siguru, kakasantingan la kanaku! 

 King tula ra, aku lang apapagumasdan detang mipipingkilan dang siku, at makanian mu naman, detang mata rang kindat-kindat atnang kapamiru. Karetang karelang pamilayun karing mapamiru dang pamaglalawe, ating lulub king kanakung isip, marayil, makapatungkul ketang dalagang matayimik makasiping kanaku. Dapot king wanan ku makalukluk ya iting abe dang dalaga, eku ya man apapansinan, uling detang kayang kayabe, makagiyam lang pakisabian. Pablasang ing dalan kekaming bibeben malipugpug ya, itang malagu nang lupa nitang dalaga, kaya nayang tatakpan ketang panyu nang malutu at pane makalawe ketang marayu. Eya bubulad, uling siguru, mikakunu ya kanaku, at ala yang kabalu-balu tungkul kanaku. Pablasang detang kayabe na purus lang mapamiru, iyang pelakuan da king siping ku, dapot peluklukan naman keta mismung kayarapan ku. Sinagakgak lang lalu pa ketang kayang pamintu, at kanakung pagtakan nung bakit ing siyo da atnang katni king tula. King karelang kimut, mamyalungan ku isip, at king kanakung ukul, balamu, iyang ibabage da kanaku. Ketang masapsap dang buring malyari, ikaming piyarap da, at detang kekaming mata ikua rang mikit, kinislap at misabi.

Aku yang linawe at aku namang linawe. Makatiman ku lupa at mangalutu ya itang kaya. Maratnang lawan-lawan ku ya dapot duku-duku ya. Akung magpakilala kaya dapot mikakunung makibat ya. Aku lang sipat-sipatan detang mabilug nang mata dapot ketang salamin nang malutu-lutu, deti kaya lang tatakpan malaguang-malagua. Itang kule nitang kayang balat, kaku ya mu namang pigumasdan, ay! kabage nitang kayang kule ketang imalan nang berde! akung sinabi king kanakung sarili.

 Kabang lalalam itang kanakung lawe, akung apapansinan itang malalam nang pangisnawa. Eku kukurap king pamaglalawe kaya, uling eku la buring matda sala detang mamanga kung mata kaya. Kanitang penandit, ala yang laman ing kanakung panimanman, nune, itang lalu ya pang asilayan. Uling bandi na ya niting kakung pamaglalawe, ena balu ning dalaga nung magpildis o malis ya ketang lugal pilulukluka’na. Ena naman balu, nung itang susulud nang baru, kaya na yang panabitan o pulisan o kuskusan o samasan, kanita, aku nang tuknang lalawe pa kaya. Marayil, uling eku ya patugutnan lalawan, iya nang isipan, ing aku nang yugse lual ning saken, kanita, akung mawala ketang karapa’na. Dapot, nung nanu itang kayang panga-inipan, iya namang ikakawili nitang mayayama kung sarili. Kabang luluat, tutung ali ke awari ing kibul ning pusu ku. Tatatap yang alang patna, pupukdul yang alang nanu. Bakit kaya ing pusu ku makanyan yang mamanga, balamu, iyang mamumulang at masisira!  Bakit kaya eke arienda ing kabug ning kakung pusu? Malsinta ya pin kaya kening dalagang ngeni na pamu a katagpo at ing lagyu naman ena pa balo?

 Kaburi ku yang ipilpil iting maliswas kung pusu, dapot, nanu ke mang itimpi, lalu yatang mikakapali. Buri keng itali, dapot, lalu yang magpatabili. Buri keng dukutan, dapot, lalu yang sasalikut. Buri keng dakma, dapot, lalu yang maglumpasag. Buri keng sakalan, dapot, lalu yang lulundag. Akung mangutang kening kakung sarili: Bakit eku balung ipalino nung bakit ing kanakung pusu aku na yang ililindu? Bakit ing kanakung pakiramdam tuliru yang tuliru?  

Kabang iting dalaga, kanaku ya pang pagumasdan, lalu ku ya pang angaan, lalu pang paninapan. Detang pitiris-tiris nang bitis, kaku lang lalawan, kaku lang batya-batyawan… kasanting da at kakaba, aliwa lang aliwa, uling king bie ku yata, kanita ku pa minangang minanga. Tutu kung mawiwili… tutu kung mayayama… tutu kung miyuyu king lawe ku kaya… Marayil, mua at masusora ya kanaku uling detang kanakung mata atna lang kapamuska. Dapot iya nang makasibaktung kanaku, kaya ku pa lalung mamanga uli nitang buak nang makaba. Akung sinabi king kanakung sarili: Ay, kabage nang kabage ketang buak nang makaluge! Uling akung makalawe ketang buak nang makaluge, kaya ya iting kinaul at sepunggul, at iti kaya yang pinusud. Pasibayu, akung sinabi king kanakung sarili: Kalalu na pang mibage ketang malagu nang lupa… lalu yang metingkad…lalu yang melagu…! Metung ya waring kandidata ketang ligligan detang musa… alang malyaring sumambut  kaya king tikas at dagul na…!

 Kaburi keng akaket! Kaburi keng lalawan! Kaburi keng pag-umasdan! Kaburi ku yang talanan! Kaburi ku yang apisan! Kaburi ku yang uman! Marayil, nung malyari mu, iti kanakung depatan inggiang ikadalum o ikasukul ku man! Dapot ita eku gewa uling kanita, metung kung tulala at mulala!

 Kasukal ku lub, kamua kung kamua, uling ketang lugal kekaming pupuntalan, kekami nang disan. Mimasmas ku isip, mibali’ku diwa, ketang ing dalaga kung mumutya, kabira-bira… iyang mitambad kayarapan ku!, Tiniman ya kanaku, at aku mu namang tiniman kaya king mipmung yubu’t yumu. Ay! karagul a bage, kasanting ning pakiramdam ko, uling pusu ku lalu yang miyuyu…lalu yang kinarug…lalu yang linuksu! Kalagu na ning dalagang kanaku mekabigani! akung sasabi king kanakung sarili.

Mikawani kami pintalan, dapot, ing kanakung sarili lalu ku yang ali a wari, pauli niting pusu kung megani. Iti lalu yang minanga, lalu yang milsinta, at maninap king ing sana, itang dalaga, akit ku yang pasibayu! 

 Miras ku ketang tuknangan a kanakung panintunan. Akung masayang selubung detang kanakung kayabe at tiru itang maging tudturan ku. Karela lang mengutang kanaku nung aku lang balu detang kayagnan ku, at ali ing pekibat ku. Nandin karatang mung abak, ila ping mangutang tungkul keka, arang sinabi kanaku. Tau la Tarlac College of Technology karin king Tarlac, digtung da pang pasibayu. Nanu ya kaya lagyu itang abe dang dalaga? akung mengutang karela. Aba, tuturu yang Mathematics ita at Lolita Victorio ing lagyu na, at Lolit ing yaus mi keya, anang mekibat nitang metung kayabe ku. Kabiasna’na, mag-doctorate yang Statistics king U.P., maganaka na, kaluguran ku ya, anang mekibat nita pang metung. Paglolon me! paglolon me! buri mi ya keka! arang matingid aduan kanaku. Oy, Rodrigo! Eka mumuli keta kekatamu trade nung ala kang apalyari! arang mangulit kanaku detang babai. Mayli at pibabalugbug ku la mu uling balu ku, makadua mu, karin king trade school muli na kaming pasibayu.

 Makanyan man, i Lolit buri ku nayang akit pasibayu. Akung matula at masaya uling kakilalang-kakilala deya ding abe ku.

Kaybat nitang kekaming gamit mitangkap na, ikami nang mibalik seminar room, at bandang ala dos ning gatpanapun inyang pasibayu misundu itang seminar-workshop a gagawan mi. Abala ku king assignment a mitutuk kanaku at abala la ngan ding dakal makayabe kaniting seminar a mesabi. Silip-silipan kuya itang dalaga Tarlac dapot ali ku ya apagumasdan uling king dakal ding tau at abala lang mipanigaral karetang assignment makatutuk karela.

Karas nitang ala singku, mikawa-kawani na la ding tau at ume nang muling pasibayu karing karelang kuartu. Alang saken kanita, inya ding menasa kailangan maglakad la. Ikit kuya i Lolit kayagnan ding abe na at aku lang likuan detang kayabe kayagnan ku. Akung tinuki king karelang pamaglakad at kunwaring migpakilalang pasibayu ing ninu aku. Kanaku matula la at iyang inagape kanaku itang karelang dalaga. Makaba at miyaliwa itang karelang kuwentu. Mayli la mung mayli uli yatang pibabage at manintun lang talagang dalan, kanita, ikaming adua akua ming misabi. Iti kanakung ikakalugud at masapno nang ikakatula ning kanakung pusu uling kanakung paninap mididinan sese ampong lino. Ali miglambat, miras kaming matula ketang kekaming tuknangan at ikami nang migpainawa.

Kaibat nitang alus aduang oras, miglakad kaming pasibayu ban mapun na ketang kantina. Pasibayu, kinawani ku karing abe ku Baculud at ketang dalaga ning Tarlac karin ku migdatun at mekiyagnan. Tunggal ditak kaku yang akikilala’t ababalu at aku makanyan mu naman keya. Kayari nitang kekaming pamamangan apunan, miglakad kaming pasibayu kaibat nitang makuyad ming painawa. Madalumdum na kanita, at detang posting kekaming lalabasan, ala lang aslag uling kanita, alang kuryenti. Iting pamikatagun, lalung minye puge king kanakung pusu, inya kanita, detang kanakung kuwentu kaniting dalaga, lalu lang melabung at minyampaga. Bagya bagya, i Lolit mayli naya kanaku at ditak-ditak, aku nang manakit kilim ketang keyang lupa. Kalakalale, aku nayang apapatunud at detang mangalati nang timan kanaku, akakait ku na lang lalare ampong nenene.

Pasibayu, miras kaming matula ketang kekaming tuknangan. Akung memun karing kayabe nang Lolit, nung karela yang a panuala kanaku, kanita, ikami pang mipag-istorya. Marayil, uling mayan ing lub da kanaku, karela eku man mikaduan amanu. Karela yang penabilin mayap at ara pang memusit kanaku: E me paburen ing dalaga mi uling yapin ing kekang maging asawang painturu! Sesen muyang masalelse uling bage kayung bage!   Kekami yang kaluguran, inya keka yang ingatan!  Mayumu kung tinangu, patune, daptan kung dalise itang likuan dang panabilin kanaku. Matula kung matula karing bayung kakilala ku menibatan Tarlac uling palage la lub kanaku at king timtim ku, ing karelang dalagang kanakung tagimpan, balamu, buri da ya mu naman kanaku.

Aku yang inagkat lukluk ketang eran sementu itang dalagang kanakung pemun pakipagkwentuan. Kaganaka nang agkatan uling agad-agad, kayang pemintuan itang keya inawad ku. Linukluk ya dapot ing dayu na kanaku atin yatang aduang metru. King lub ku, mayli at masaya ku, uling mamyalungan king isip ku a nung makananu dumatun ya king siping ku.

 Ding batwin masanting la kanitang bengi at ing banwa malwalas at matunud ya. Ing bulan kilap-kilap ya king sala nang matina at ing kapadurutnan misisinagan ketang aslag nang misna tula. Uli ning Pasku malapit na, ing tiyup nitang angin mamyalungan na king dimla. Pablasang makatalpa’kami tukura’ning Bunduk Alaya, ing ambung dudulung manibat king banua, gagapang at gagale na king dimla. Ing sunis ding kuliglig sitsitsitsit at kulakulait, babie nayun king panimanman, babie santing king pakiramdaman, atnang kabage karing tulauk ding tuku ampong kulayo. Ing banglu ding sampaga, alimuyak waring manamuyut at kanaku mangamanu: Rodrigo, kekang samasan mamunting amanu, kanita, keka yang  apapalsinta ing masamyung Lolita…

Memuklat kung istorya, at e miglambat, memuklat ya namang kuwentu. Kanaku lang pipinpinan detang mabanglu nang amanu, at iya, titimtiman na la detang kanaku. Istorya na ing keyang pamagaral, kukuwentu ku mu naman ing kanaku. Eksplika nang pamanauru nang Mathematics, Counseling naman itang kukuwentu ku kaya. King balang sabian na, akung tatangu keya at king balang sasabian ku, ing tangu na anti mu rin ketang kanaku. Ala kaming pisasalangsangan, ala kaming pisasagsagan.

 Kabang pupulayi ya karing kuwentu na, tunggal ditak, akung dudusug ketang lele na. Dapot, eku binang makiramdam karetang kayang istorya, itang maragul kung tagimpan, iya itang akung mileleng milele ketang kayang pangisnawa. Uling e na ku binang balu, atnayang kalyap potang misisiping ku keya. Dapot, nung dusug na ya namang marayu, ketang galo na, kalakalale, tutuki kung pasibayu. Marayil, ikua nang sinawa ketang kanakung tiyaga, at ketang kanaku nayang kalele, akung manene ka ya sinabi: Eka tatakut, emu ku darayuan. Mayap kung kasabi. Maniwala ka king kanakung amanu, at ali mu isipan ing aku, malikut at marok kung tau… Dinuku at mipakayli ya, at ita, lubus mekasaya king salu ku. Manibat kanita, king siping ku, metunud ya, at meluat nang meluat ing kekaming kuwentu. 

Kaya ku la tiru detang kilap-kilap at masayang batwin at bulan karin babo banua. Kabang kaya lang pagumasdan, akung kaya mengutang: Balu muya itang kantang Vincent? Aku yang daramdaman pero eke masyadung balu letra, anang mekibat kanaku. Bisa ka istorya ke keka, akung sinabi kaya. Meyli at tinangu ya, at ume yang mekiramdam ketang makalunus nang bie Vincent Van Gogh. Tayimik na ing sabla liban na mu kekaming adua. King keluatan, ing balat detang kekaming gamat, tunggal ditak akakua da nang misasagana at miuuma. Itang kayang lupa, kalakalale akakait ku yang lalu pang sasala, at detang kayang pisngi at labi, kikinang na lang king lare at tula. Kaniting magani kung kabilyan, lalu yang malulumud king saya iting pusu kung manabiba. Marayil, alang ninu man ing magsilbing makapagpalino kanaku, a nung bakit iting pusu ku anti ya waring makatsubibu. Makayama iting pakiramdam! Makayuyut ing kanakung daramdaman! Mandilu ya king ligaya ing magtampiso kung pusu! Sari ya king kayan iting kanakung inawa! Biga ku waring makasangkayo babo dikut king taldawa! Ambun ku waring sanap-sanap king sepu ding amor seku! Kasanting ku pakiramdam! Kalagu ku panimanman! Ing pulayi ning oras, iti ali miya apansinan… ali miya apansinan… uling ing balang penandit atnang saya kekeng adua… at e mi apansinan…ganingaldo na pala!

Kabuklat ning abak, aku nang ginayak. Linual kung masaya, malwalas ku lupa. Ing kakung aske at ing malare kung kule, lalu yatang mibage keniting sisigpo at inspiradu kung pusu. Kabungad ku ketang pasbul, tambing-tambing, i Lolit na iyang pagdulapan ding mata ku. Ikit keyang makalukluk, mamangan, kayantabe detang masaya nang kaluguran. Matula keng linawe, masaya na ku namang linawe. Masaya keng pinepe, matula ya na mang minepe. Meyli ku keya, at kananku, tiniman yang atnang kayumu.

Makarine mang ukulan kening kanakung sarili, bakit balamu, mibangun yatang pasibayu, itang panamdam kung malsinta ketang kanakung kayanakan. Akung pang sasabi kening lub ku: Balamu, mamutikas at sasapo pasibayu iting kanakung pakiramdam. Isip ku, kening idad kung beinti nuebi at itang kaya beinti otsu, iting panamdam, ena makabage kening kekaming estadu. Iting malilyari lubus makatula, dapot kaniting pamikatagun, balamu bisa kung maniwala, ing panamdam pamalsinta king idad eya kikilala! Nanu ing daptan ku? Nanu ing gawan ku kening panamdaman kung e aintindyan?

Katlu at katataulian mi nang aldo niting kekaming seminar-workshop keti farm school king balen Magalang. Kaybat nitang kekaming almusal detang kaluguran ku Baculud, ikami nang melaus king seminar room. Bayu megumpisa itang mismung seminar, atin pa mung programang makuyad ing megampan, ban ding sabla, ilang magsaya at mikikilala. Bayu ya menyara itang tagapagsalita, inaus naya ing lagyu nang Miss Lolita Victorio, kanita, magparamdam yang metung a kanta. Minta ya arap at migkanta yang acapella pemagatan If This is Love Darling. Kabang magkanta ya, papalakpakan da yang atnang katni uli nitang bosis nang masanting at matarling. Rod pakibatan me ing kanta nang Lolit, arang misusubung ding kayabe ku Baculud.  Ketang karelang sinabi, migkule kung anting ange, uling king kanakung bie, deng kanta eku la balung igege. E na ka daratang keta kekatamu nung eka talakad at magkanta! arang matingid manyawad kanaku. Italakad me ing bandera ning Baculud! Patunayan mung ika tau ka Baba! ara pang mangulit kanaku.

Migparugu-rugu ku karela uling king tutu mu talagang eku biasang magkanta. Dapot, ara mung mekibat kanaku: Eka mangupeti…eka tatalyu…! Bayu ya mayari itang kakanta nang Lolit, tinalakad ya itang metung a kekaming kayabe, at kabud, keyang telanan itang mikroponu, pepakilala ing lagyu ku, at aku kanung pakibatan itang kanta nang Miss Victorio. Bista man, eku bisa, penulak daku detang abe ku, angga ketang dela daku ketang mabababg entebladu. Papalakpak la ding tau at ala nakung agawa, nune itang mamintu ku angga mung makapakananu. Kamarinayan a maragul nung ali magkanta ku, inya inggiang bosis ku sintunadu, kaku yang peramdam itang kantang Hindi Kita Malilimutan.  Kaburi, kasaya ring tau at king wari ku, atin lang balu ding malda kaniting tinubung lub ku kang Lolit apapalsintan ku. Kanyaman niting kanakung pakiramdam, at ala kung malit-malitan, lalu pa yatang mitawu at milablab iting tinubu kening kanakung pangatau.

 Kaybat nitang paugtuan, meyari at misara na ing atlung aldo seminar-workshop a kekaming gimpanan keni balen Magalang. Kalupa detang sabla, marapal kung tingkapan itang keganaganang gamit ku, kanita, makisake kung pasibayu karetang kayabe ku. Karetang kayabe ku Baculud, akung meki mayap lub pamu karela, kanita, akung makisabi at mamun kang Lolit a kanakung apapalsintan tutu. Kaibat nitang kekaming makuyad pamisabi, aku nang memun keya, at metung amanung maula ing pebakal ku keya. Akung masuging sinabi kaya: Potang mikit katang pasibayu, agkatan da kang kasal ta na. Iti, king buri mu at ali… Meyli yamu kanaku, dapot melutu yang alang nanu itang keyang lupa.

 Mikawani kami kaibat nita, at ala na kung balu nung kapilan mikit kaming pasibayu. Karatang nitang malalam nang bengi, masusi kung ukulan nung nanu ing kanakung daptan karetang amanu kung likuan kanitang dalagang kanakung akilala. Makananung mapalyari, makananung mipaltutu… uling lubus ali kami malalam pang mika-imbalu…e pa panaun…epa sapat ing kekaming pamikilala… akung sasabi kening lub kung mikakunu. King isip ku, iti buri ku nang kalinguan… uling ala namang kapuntalan…ala namang paintungulan. Iti buri ku nang ipilpil…buri ku nang kalinguan…buri ku nang ikutkut. Iti eku na buri pang isipan uling balu ku, kaniti, ala kung akarapat… ala kung apalyari. Dapot iti, nung kapilan ku iwawale, lalu na naku mang ilalako inawa niting kanakung sarili.

Kaybat nitang paruminggu, ati namang sulat ing kanakung tinggap. Iti pirmadu naya nitang CIRPS Executive Director at aduan ing malaguang pamanagun ning kekaming College President at aku mu naman, a maganap November 12, 1986 king Tarlac College of Technology, Tarlac, Tarlac. King tula ku, king College President Office migsarya ku, at akung mengutang nung makananu king Tarlac miras ku. Eku kanu migaganaka uling itang lugal karela yang kabisadung kabisadu.

 Metung aldo bayu datang itang kekaming pamunta king Tarlac, binuklat ku king kanakung college president at ketang kayang asawa, itang  lama’ning lub at isip ku. King wari ku, ilang mikakunung tangu ketang pamakyasawang isipan ku, uling ela piu ketang kaulia’nitang kanakung planu. Antimong kanakung matua, peisip da ing sabla kanaku, lalu na itang kayang maging bunga. Kanaku lang pakiramdaman, dapot, ketang penandit ita, bulag ya ing sabla kung pangatau.

Tutu ing sasabian ding aliwa, ing pusu nung malsinta ya, abubulag naya ing isip ning tau. Anti ya man kayapan ing isip, ing pusu abulag na ya iti, tuki at tuki ya ketang kayang buri. Ana pin nitang kasebyan, O lugud misna king upaya, potang keka yang sekupan ing pusu ning ninu mang tau, ing sabla keka ngang paimburisan matuki mu sana itang buri mung malyari.

Makanyan man, detang miyasawa, ilang mengakung saup ketang kanakung planu at nanu man ing malyari, pabustan ali daku.

Pablasang detang miyasawa maluat lang tinuru king Tarlac College of Technology at karin Tarlac manuknangan la, aku rang tiki ketang karelang saken, inya akung miras malagua ketang escuela, nung nukarin itang pulung magagawa. Akung magumasid king makapadurut kanaku uling nung e kanita, king balen Tarlac miras ku. Karing tau alus ala kung kakilala, puera namu, karetang dati ku nang balu. Kaluklu’ku ketang conference room, i Lolit na iyang panintunan ku. Nukarin ku man marap, alang Lolit ing akakit ku. Kalyap detang mata ko, maliswas ya itang pusu ku. Ing kanakung mabilug pangatau, manintun ya mung metung a tau, at iti, aliwa nune i Lolit a sinta ku!

 Ketang kekaming pulung misna ku king kainip. Lingo ku panimanman, sulasulapo ing kakung diwa. Pata yang isip ku, balamu, linto ku yatang lingo at tungo! Aku lang daramdaman detang sablang misasabi, dapot detang karelang maulang pisasabyan, kanaku ala ngang kabaldugan. Karetang kekaming pipulungan, nanu man, ala kung atandanan. Ketang maulang penandit a ita, metung ya mung bage ing buri kung malyari. Iti ya ing akit ku na i Lolit king ora mismu! Kakaba nitang oras, kakaba nitang pisasabyan, at nung magsilbi mu, itang oras kaku yang pamatakan, kanita, itang pulung midina’nang kawakasan!

 Salamat a dakal at ing pulung meyari na. Kabang ding sabla, king paugtuan masaya la, iting wawa ku naman mete ya panlasa. Kanyaman ing pamangan, lutu pa namang Kapampangan. Ala kung teginan, ala ku mang tikman, uling itang isip kung mamyalungan, i Lolit mu ing buri kung akit!

 Kaniting buri kung malyari alang ninu mang makibalu. Kapatad man o pengari, alang ninu mang mimisip keting luluban kung peligrosu. Kaniting penandit, ala kung kasaup, ala kung kamaganak. Aku mung magdili-dili, maliban mu pin king kanakung presidenti. Nanu man ing malyari kanaku, kaniti ala mang makabalu. Nanu man ing malyari, iti tanggapan kung manyaman. Nanu man ing kalwalan, iti kanakung tanggapan. Dapot, siguradu ku kaniting buri kung malyari… ala kung pikakunuan… alang nanung matsurang sasagi kanaku, alang nanung inisip ing aku mipariwara ku. Aku mang magdili-dili, dapot, akung maragul maniwala king kanakung sarili, ing Apung Guinu makasiping ya kanaku.

 Kaibat nitang paugtuan, ena ku likuan nitang kanakung presidenti. Kaya na lang peyaus detang sabla nang kaluguran. Kaya na lang kesabi detang makatua king escuela. Karela, akung na yang pepakilala. Matula nang pebalu’t sinabi karela, nung nanu ing palsintan kung malyari. Balu deya i Lolit nung nanu ing kayang ugali, balu deya pangatau, inya ila anti na lang pengari. Kanaku, ati’na lang dimdam dapot ita karangan mu. Kayakit da kanaku, miyasamas dakung tinimtim, at mayap namu naman, meging mayan la lub kanaku. Pablasang kanaku lang karaya anti mong Kapampangan, meging malugud la kanaku, at ilang migparaya ketang karela adwan ku.

I Lolit ausan yang malagua at pidungut lang adua ban ilang misabi, arang masayang sinabi. Memintu ya itang karelang tiburan, at ditak mung penandit, aku nang inagkat da, ketang bale ning escuela. Kinislap ku lupa ketang ikit ku naya in Lolit. Buri keng talanan…buri keng kaulan… dapot king tula ku, eku balu nung nanu ing kanakung daptan. Ing lupa nang Lolit kanaku yang pakasipatan…kanaku yang pakalarawan. King kanakung wari, iya man, ena na naman balu nung nanung keyang daptan. Wari ku, king masaya kung sarili, maluat ku na yang kakaburi, maluat ku na yang bandi, a eku ikit kilub nitang limampulung banua!  Ketang kayang luklukan, atneng kataimikan. E kikimut, malalam ya isipan. King wari ku, bisa yang tumulu lua, bisa yang mako uling pota mipasubu ya kening kadungut nang atna  ka-agresibu.

 Likuan da kami at misabi kaming adua. Dinatang ku ban tupad ketang likuan kung amanu keka, akung segiwa kaya. Ala yang bulad, ala yang nanu mang pekibat. E migluat anang manene mekibat: Eku tenam king lub ku itang kekang sinabi, balu ku mamiru kamu. Akung malugud sinabi ka ya: Dinatang ku uling laus ku lub at pusu, Dapot anang mikakunung migsalita: Emu mu ku lubus kakilala at balu. Emu ku kakilala.  Era ka pin mayap balu… era ka man mayap kakilala, dapot kanaku, pebalu naka ning Apung Guinu, at ika nakang tiru kanaku. Biyaya na ka kanaku at ika kanaku, akung malugud sinabi kaya. I Lolit mangalutu ya lupa, atnang sinabing pasibayu: Maglolo ka pamu kanaku, ban akilala mu kung tutu at nung ninu aku. Akung pasibayung mekibat ka ya:  Tukyan daka buri, dapot tukyan mu ku naman sana buri. Kasal ta na. Kasal ka ta pamu, ban kanita, itang buri mung suyuan daka, gawan kung mayumung-mayumu. Mipakayli ya kanaku, at lalu ya pang mengalutu. Lawan mu ing idad tamung adua, akung kaya pepaganaka. Beinti otsu ka, beinti nuebi ku. King wari ku, e makabage na, ing mipaglolo kata pang adua, uling ding tau, pagsistiyan daka ta pa, pauli ning idad tamung mamun na king kalendaryu, akung pang migpakayli kaya. Lawen mu ku mata…lawen mu ku lupa… deti manyabi lang tutu keka… aku pang maglolo kaya. Lawan mu la ding matua, lawan mu la ding kaluguran mu, metung at metung, alang ninu mang sasalangsang karela, akung manyawad pakibat kaya. Kaluguran daka at palsintan dakang alang sala, ika ing buri kung maging asawa, maging indu ning kakung familia… akung malugud susuyu kaya. Ali daka pabustan… ali daka paburen…ali daka pakyakan…at kapilan man, pakaluguran dakang pakaluguran…akung tutung mangaku kaya. Ala yang pakibat, ali ya bubulad. Makaduku ya lupa, bisa yang kumyak. Bisa yang miwas, bisa yang mako, dapot, ketang lukluka’na, kaku yang ginapus karetang gamat kung keya magparalampu.

Marayil, makiramdam at magumasid la kanitang penandit, detang kaluguran at malugud kaya. King sablang tula ku, akung ikuang mipakakama, ketang ing metung nang kayabe escuela, magdala yang marriage contract ayusan da na pala!. Eku balu nung magsaya at magdiwang naku. Ing pekamasanting a balu ku kanitang penandit, iya itang kasiping ku na yang kasiping, ing sinta kung painturu ku nang ayasawa!

Karing tau, matula kung matula. Inggia man era ku binang balu, maliswas at kikimut la, ketang upayang mikasal na kami maganap kanu king balen Victoria. Ding saken ning escuela geyak da la, at ding sabla mamirapal na la, uling ing silim daratang na. Ala kung balu nung nukarin dala daku, eku mu naman balu nung nanung malyari kanaku. Kabang ing kekaming saken pupulayi ya, inisip ku king kanakung sarili, ing metung ku waring gala gagato at tutuki king agus ning danum nitang malalam sapa.

 Miras kami ketang bale Victoria a bandi nitang metung ming kayabe. Akung mangapamulala king kanakung disan uling ing sabla makasadia na ngan king kasal a magawa. Ing secretaryu nitang minisipyu, kayang miyasamas mamakinilyan itang kontrata nitang kekaming kasal. Ding aliwa, atyu la kusina at maglutu lang miyali-aliwa. King kanakung saya, bisang tumulu ing kanakung lua! Ketang penandit kanita, bista man ala lu siping ku detang kanakung matua, ding sabla kikimut la para kanaku, gaganap king mipmung tula para kanaku. Pengari la waring kanaku bidbud ning Apung Guinu, a gagampan ketang sablang kailangan ku. Kalugud na ning Apung Guinu, at Kayang sidya ing dalan kanaku, kanita, ing kanakung malagung tagimpan makapamakiasawa, gana-ganang mipaltutu!

E megluat, dinatang na ya itang alcaldi ning munisipyu. Kaya yang linawe ing kontrata at lepita’na kaming pareyu. Kitangan na kami king kekaming pamikalugud, king kekaming kayadwanan bisang kasal, at pengamanuan ketang malagung pami yabe antimong miyasawa. Kaybat ning seremonya, kaya na lang pekiduang detang kekaming singsing, dapot, meyli kaming agnan-agnan, uling kareti, ala mu mang makasadia. Lubus nang aintindian ing kekaming kabilian, inya, ing itang lagyu na, keya nayang pinirma ketang kontrata ating petsang November 12, 1986. Nganang sinabi kekami: Ngeni miyasawa nakayu! Linawe naku at nganang minutus: Ngening ikayung adua, ikayu nang miyasawa, uman mu naya ing kekang asawa tanda ning lugud mu kaya.  Malugud kung memintu at telanan gamat ing kanakung asawa, at akung kaya mekisabi: Mrs. Sicat, malyari dakang uman. Linawe nakung misnang sala, at kaku yang inuma. Detang pago na kaku lang telanan, linapit ku kaya itang kanakung pangisnawa, at akung digpa labi karetang keya. Iti kaku pang inulit, at kaku yang kinaul. Katula ding manakit, kasaya ding sabla… at ngarang sasambitla detang aliwa: Kasanting ne…ngeni ku pamu menakit king anti kanyang pamiyasawa. E la man lubus mikilala, dapot ing karelang pamikalugud, daig na pa itang mipaglolo lang aduang pulung banua…!

Matula la, masaya la ding sabla kaniting pamikatagun. Masaya la kekaming miyasawa, lalu kanaku, uli ning katuparan nitang panalangin kung makapakyasawa. Pengaul da kami at malugud manalangin king Apung Guinu, itang ikulub na kekami ing Keyang bendisyung mayumu.

Kaybat nitang kapasalamatan, mibali’kami Tarlac ban yatad kaming miyasawa ketang bale ning kanakung asawa. Nung nukarin makatungnang ya, kaniti ala kung kabalu-balu, uling kapilan man, eku pa miras keta karela. Mu naman, eku la balu detang maging katuwangan ku, uling misan man, eku la pa ikit king mabilug a bie ku. Kapilan man, ala pang pamikatagun ing ikit ku la, at ila, makanian mu naman kanaku. Munaman, ala kung balu karing maging bayo ku. Ala kung balu king ugali ra, ala lang kabalu-balu mu naman kanaku. Akung mangutang kening kanakung sarili: nanu kaya ing kanakung kaulyan karing taung salagpian ku? Tanggapan da ku kaya o ikawani king kanakung asawa? Nanu kaya nung era ku buri? Nanu ing gawan ku nung arang itabi daku? Makanian man, panalangin ku king Apung Guinu, ing sana, maging mayan la lub kanaku, ali la salangsang kaniting kekaming pamiyasawa niting kaluguran kung asawa.

 Ding pamilya ning kanakung asawa aku lang akilala. Pablasang i Lolit pangane ya karing kapatad na, alang pepakit malulam lupa karela. Marayil, magtaka lamu nung makananung minuli yang talasawa iting karelang kapatad, uling ala lang kabalu-balu kaniting asawang tikya’na. Akung pagumasdan itang kimut nitang babai kung , nung nanu itang kayang daptan. Akung magumasid ketang balang sasabya’na, nung nanu ing gawa’na. Kanaku yang dimput itang malyap a gamat na, akung siniklaud, at linikluk alang bulad.

 Detang matua kekami mamantabe, ilang ka ya mekisabi. Eya bubulad, mangisnawang atnang kalalam. Maliswas ya ketang lukluka’na, ena balu nung nanu ing dapta’na. Marayil, bisa yang kumyak, bisa yang gulisak. Mekad, buri nakung itabi uling ena ku balu. Siguru, isipa’na, nung nanu ku pangatau, uling balamu, singo kung payung-payungan bigla na mu linto. Marayil, ikukutang na king kayang sarili nung bakit mipakanyan ya sukad ing anak a pakamala’na.  Marayil, masukal ing lub na, mua yang mua uli ning gewa ming adua. Marayil, ing sukal nang lub buri nang ibugnus, dapot, iti ena agawa uling detang matuang makayantabe kekami, kaya ali la aliwa. Deting kekaming kayabe mangatua, ilang kaya minye patutu, king i Lolit, eya misala king kayang pamakyasawa. Deting matua a kilala at balu nang tutu, minye la pang mayap a garantya, king ing asawa ning anak na, maganaka at mayap ya.

 E miglambat, memu’na la detang kekami minantabe. Migpasalamat ku karela at akung pengaul at pengalamanu. Aku namung dili at akung mimiiisip nung nanu ing tutuking malyari. Tunggal-tunggal karela, aku rang kukutnan, keta marayil, abalu da nung nanu ing kanakung pangatau. Makibat kung kalakalale, at akung magpatune, ing aku mayap kung tau, at munaman, maging mayap asawa king kapatad da. Tayimik ya mu ing katuangan kung babai, at king wari ku, ing isip na mamyalungan yang sari-sari. Kanaku yang panintunan itang katuangan kung lalaki, dapot iti ala yu kanita. Kaybat nitang mapilan penandit, sinabi ya itang kanakung katuangan at ikami na kanung magpainawa 

Akung tinuki king kanakung asawa, at kayang tiru itang tudtura’na. Tayimik ing sabla at ali kami bubulad adua. Kanaku yang lepitan, at kanaku yang pekisabyan. Kanaku yang pengutnan kaniting kekaming desisyun. Ala yang pekibat, ali ya man binulad. Mebasa ya mata a ginapang karetang keyang lupa. Kanakung pinulis iti, kanita, mapawi itang lumbe na. Kaku yang inaru, kaku yang sinuyu. Amanu kung mayumu, ilang kayang meging panulu. Pasibayu, akung kaya mengaku: Kaluguran da ka! Pakaluguran da kang sari yumu’t sanke king mabilug kung pangisnawa! 

 Ketang benging ita, biglang dinatang ing lisangan. Uli niti, ing uran mibulus misna king kasikan! Ala kang damdaman nune itang byung detang malabung kawayan. Kasanting pakiramdaman detang karelang mipapaspasan bulong. Kasanting pakiramdaman detang lalangitngit dang impun. King eku balu, ing uran mesikan pang lalu. Merimla itang angin, mipatudtud kung atnang santing. Kalingat ku ditak saglit, akung tinalakad at migumasid. Pagtakan ku at nung bakit inggiang angin marimla na, itang bugsu nitang uran mibulus pang pasibayu. Kalabas nitang uran, milako pasibayu itang singo nitang lisangan. Uli niti, akung mipasno pakiramdam at akung mipatudtud eku balu.  

Kayabak kagising ku, makatando na ya itang aldo. Panintunan ku ya ing abe ku, ita pala ya nang maglutu. Tinipa ku’t lepitan ya ban saupan king gagawa’na. Ginulut yang katuangan ku, a nandin kasabi na pa. Lingu’nang pipia’na alang bulad kukusut na. Sukal nang lub aintindyan ku, inanakit na kakung alalasa. Mengan kaming alang bulad, ing pamangan ku anti waring ating panulu.

Kaibat nitang kekaming almusal, ikaming memun miyasawa ban muli Pampanga. Ikaming muli keta kekami, kanita, kaya na lang akilala detang kanakung partidus balen Kababan. Itang kanakung katuangan, ala ya pa muring bulad, ala yang tangu, ala yang kasaya-saya lupa. Ginaya’kami’t memun kaya, at pasibayu, anti waring ala yang dimdam, anting alang ikit, itang malumbe kung katuangan. Meko kaming alang bulad at ume nang melaus. Ita kanung kalako mi, ing malungkut kung bayung pengari, menangis yang alang nanu. Itang imalan pipiya’na, king gabun penugse na. Ala yang asalese uling itang lub na ala yu ketang gagawa’na.

Menabat kaming saken at melaus na. Kalukluk mi kaniti, kaku yang telanan ing gamat ning abe ku, patune, tutu yang maula kanaku. Kaku yang kinaul ban maluluglug ing sabla nang pikakunuan. Ketang kanakung pago, kaku yang sinandal at mipatudtud king salu ku. Kabang kaku yang aguran, miglakad ya ing kakung diwa at kanakung isipan nung nanu ing kayulian niting kakung aluban. Akung mangutang king kanakung sarili: Nanu kaya ing dasan at sabian detang pengari’t kamagana’ku. Aku mu naming isipan, itang kanakung kabilyan karing painturu kung kapatad ngeni kanaku papagaral.  Nanu kaya ing daptan ku ban kanita king karelang pamagaral  e  mituknang la? Nanu kaya ing karelang kaulyan ngening aku nang talasawa? Nanu kaya ing gawan ku nung sakali, iting kanakung ayasawa, maging maimut ya karing obligasyun a likuan ku karela? akung mangutang kanitang isip kung mamyalungan.

 Balu ku king kapilanman, era ku dininan obligasyun detang kalulu kung matua, ban tambayukan itang karelang responsibilidad karing kapatad ku. Dapot kilub ding pusu ra, balu ku nung nanu ing yawad ra kanaku, lalu itang indu kung babai. Pengaku ku king kanakung sarili, king nanu man ing malyari, eku magpabusta kapilan man karela.  Deti mamyalungan la king kanakung sarili, at akung taimtim menalangin: Nawa iting kanakung ayasawa, keyang tanggapan iting kabilyan kung kalulu. Sana, maganaka ya’t mapanupaya, maragul a pusu, at mapanatindi king sabla…

Kalabas itang metung oras at kapitna, king baryu mi Baba miras kaming manawa. Katipa mi ketang saken, masaya kuyang kakalwan ing abe ku. Balang kekami manakit, ilang mangapatalanga at mangapakamakama. Ding sabla mangapamulala la kanaku, uling sinaguli ku mung mewala, aku nang magdalang asawa era man kakilala at kabalu-balu. Ating metung matuang babai kanakung kakilalang-kakilala ing linapit atnang memiru’t sinabi: Oy Rodrigo, mamulang! nukarin me labuad akalap ing kekang pisitara? Guinu ko! Bakit pekadagul dagul meng anti kanyan? Agiyu meng pamatbat yan at mekad galang ikang penasiwas na kanyan!  Kaku yang kinaul itang matuang babaing kapamiru ku at akung mekibat kaya: Iya ing asawa ku at Lolit ing lagyu na. Ali kami migpusitara uling kinasal na kami Tarlac. Nanu malagu ya ing abe ko? Nanu bage kame? Apagmaragul kya dara? Anang mapamiru pang sinabi: Taksyapu mo! E wari misasabi ka ta pamu kapilan pa at ala naka mang anti kanyan istorya kanako? Bakit kabira-bira aliwa yang abe mu ngeni?  Nanung gewa mung yan, itung? O itang balu ku, makananu ya kanyan? Akung mekibat kaya: Talagang ing suerti anti kanyan. Emu man panintunan, kabud na mu daratang… Kaya, akung minulit pasibayu keya: Nanu malagu yang abe ko? Wa naman! anang matulang mekibat kanaku. 

Itang kaluguran kung matua matula ya kanaku uling ume nakung mekapakyasawa. Ikami nang mumun kaya, at uling pare-pareyu kaming matula, ing kekaming pamaniklaud, kanita mi pamu aganaka. Itang kayang pitalan-talan sigarilyung markang ungut, keya yang sinubung pasibayu, aku nang pinikpik pago at anang memirung pasibayu: Rodrigo, ito, karagul ning arakap mo! Siguradu kang agyu me ing asawang darala mo?  Kaybat ku yang kinaul pago itang kapamiru kung matua, linakad na kami ning abe ku, pauli keta kekami.

 King kekaming pamanuli, balang bale kekaming lalabasan, kekami la pa mung ampitan. Matula la king abe ku, dapot ali da ya man masyadu pang balu. Matula ku karela, uling metung mu ing karelang kukutang kanaku: Rodrigo, ninu yang maragul abe mu? Obat e mi ya kakilala? Migpusitara kayo? Balu nang inang mu yan?  Kalupa nitang pakibat ku karetang aliwa, akung karela magdeklara: Mekyasawa na ku! Kinasal na kaming huez king Tarlac. Pablasang balu dang mapamiru ku, ada pang matulang sasabing paulit-ulit kanaku: Kamulangan mo! Eka mamiro. Makananu kang kinasal nung ika mung dili mu?  Makananung milyari ita. Bakit ali mi ya balu ing asawa mu? Bakit nung e ngeni, emu ya pepabalu kekami? Akung makibat karela: Suwerti ke ing abe ku. Eku la balung pakibatan deng kutang yu. Ala kung balung pakibat uling ala kung balu. At ara pang mangutang e maybug manwala: Ay Diyos ko, atin waring pamakyasawang anti kanyan! Itang metung bigla nang aganaka: Wa pin pala, menga’nako kanyan? Eko danupan? Nanu ing buri yung kanan?  E mi na la buring abalan pa, inya ikaming memun at sinulung na.

Karas mi ketang bale nang apu ku, lalu lang migtaka at mengapamulala. Minuna mi yang lepitan itang apu kung babai, at anang mengutang: Nanung milyari? Memusitara ka kano? Yang milyari balu nang inang mo? Inabut miya ing gamat na at ikaming meniklaud kaya. Kinasal na kami at darakitan da ka yu ban kanita magsulisitud tamu king aldo makadua, akung mekibat kang apu ku. Anang sinabi kanaku: Makanyan pala, bakit kailangan tamu pang magsulisitud, kinasal na kayu pala? Akung migpalino pa: Kanita miras kayu karin at kanita, akilala yu la ding pamilya ning abe ku.

 Itang apu kung lalaki makiramdam ya pala kekami, aku na yang inaus at pepalapitan kaya. Itang gamat na kekami yang kingua at siniklaud ka ya. Uli detang kayang mata lula na la, ali na ne akakit ing kanakung asawa. I Lolit pepalapita’naya kaya, at kayang kipkap ing lupa ning apu nang bayu. Anang sinabi kanaku: O Rodrigo, makananu meng arakap ing asawa mu? King wari ku, karagul na yatang babae! Obat eku balu ing ating ka palang kaburi Tarlac. Pasalamat ka’t aburya’na ka. Kang apu ku, akung sinabi: Apo, eka migkamali. Maragul ya ping tutu. Binie ne kanaku ning Apung Guinu, inggiang eke mipaglolo at masyadung mikabalu… Nanu ya itsura? ana pang sinigunda. Arang agnan-agnan mekibat detang makapadurut kaya: Malagu ya at lupa yang abugada.  Alus kasindagul neng Rodrigo, o mekad siguru, matas ya pang ditak ka ya.

 Ding aliwa minyasat la kabang mipag-istorya kaming masaya. Detang sablang makabalita, karas da, metung mu ing ikukutang da: I Rodrigo mikyasawa ne kano? Tutu ya ping maragul itang keyang ayasawa? Anta yu na la? Potang i Lolit iyang akit da, atna lang katulang katula at alang patugut ing ayli ra. Aba! tutu pin pala. Dagul napin pala ning asawa nang Rodrigo! arang masiglang magsalita.

Marayil, ing mangye dang pamagsalita ding tau, pagtaka’ning abe ku. Karing magale at matarling bosis ding tau, iyang manibayung-manibayu, uling nung e kanita king Lubao miras ya. Nung misan pangutnan da ya dapot mayli yamu uli sigurung detang aliwang salita gagamitan da, ela malino ketang balu na. Maralas mangutang ya pa kanaku, kanita, karing pakibat na eya mitalabu.

 Keta kekami, aku na yang inagkat ing abe ku, ban kanita, ka ya na lang akilala detang pengari nang bayu. Dapot e na kami buring mako pa mu nitang apu kung babai, aku nang ginayak at ume na kaming memun karela. Uling pepanyasat ya karetang kakung dara, ka ya nang penabilin ing eke kanu mamabak, nung e daratang itang pamangang payatad na. 

 Melaus na kami pauli karing kanakung pengari. King dane mi, mabilis mibalita ing mikyasawa naku. Balang kekaming daralanan, anak at matua, masaya la ngan lupa. I Sir mikyasawa na ya! Mikyasawa na ya! arang magsaya’t manabiba. Balang bale labasan mi, papalakpak at pepepe la. Abe ko, mikyasawa na ka pin pala! Tutu pala ing babalita ra at maragul ya pin pala ing arakap mung asawa, arang sasabi deta kekami akakasalubong.

Karas karin king bale mi, ikami rang selubung detang matulang kanakung pengari. Karela nang dimdam itang balita, balu da nang mikyasawa naku. Meniklaud kami karela at kinaul na yang inang ku ing abe kung asawa. Masaya la at ala kung dimdam nanu mang amanu karela. Detang kapatad kung atiyu kanita, kanaku lang pepakilala kaya. Matula da yang tinggap, at masaya lang mipagkuwentu. Tunggal-tunggal lang daratang detang kekaming kamaganak, siping bale ampon kakilala, at ilang sasalubung at magpakilala king kanakung asawa.

Detang likuan ming menese karin bale nang apu ku, ila nang dinatang at daralan itang karelang a lutu. Matula kaming minabak, masaya kaming pare-pareyu. Marakal ing pamangan uling detang kekami pupunta, magdala la mu namang pamangan miyaliwa-liwa.

 Kinabukasan, itang apu kung babai ketang tatang ku, a manuknangan pamu king pangulu, malagua yang dinulung king kekaming baryu, kabud kaya nang abalu, ing atin yang bayung apu. Marayu ya pa, susunga na yang mamaus, susyo kang tatang ku, at kaya nang ikukutang nung ing apu nang Rodrigo mekyasawa na ya kanu. Atna kaming katula kaya uling nanu ya pidala-dala. Meniklaud kami kaya at kayakit na king abe ku, kaya na yang penuma at kang Lolit tala-talanga ya. Katas na pin pala ning asawa nang Rodrigo, anang matulang mamanga. Masasawang ku kaya. Karagul na pin pala ing asagmit ning apu ku! ana pang masayang sasabi. Linual na king bayung itang darala na at pemilit mangan ing kanakung asawa.

Itang pangane kung kapatad manuknangan king Menila, iya mu namang minuli king baryu kayabe itang kayang asawa. Nung makanu itang tula detang aliwa, itang kaya anti mu naman kanita.

Detang aliwa kung disipulus a kanakung meging kaluguran, ilang dinatang mu naman at ilang sisigpo king tula pauli niting kanakung pamakyasawa. Matula ku karela, uling ila anti waring kapatad at wali ku na la.

Itang aldo Dumingu, ikaming sinimba at alang e makalawe king kanakung abe. Kaibat nitang misa, alang e gagalamu kanaku uling aku nang talasawa. Maluat kung tuturu baryu, inya ding tau mayap dakung balu, at king kekaming pisamban aktibu kung aktibu.

Bayu kami minuli keta kekami, patingapun kaming meniklaud karetang kekaming kamaganak aliwa pa. Balang kekaming darasan, atin lang yapag pamangan a labis nang ikakatula niting kakung asawa. Lubus nang isipan ing makayaliwang ugali ding taung kayang darasan, at munaman, ing leparan detang kanakung kamaganak. Pagtaka’na mu naman, at nung bakit balang bale kekaming ampitan, papadalan da yang nanu-nanu. Iti kanakung pepalino kaya, nung bakit ding Kapampangan Kababan anti kanita ing karelang panugali.

Itang benging dungut-dungut kaming mamangan ding pamilya ku, akung sinabi karela ing kekaming pamunta king Tarlac, kanita, itang kekaming kasal king pisamban, iyang kekaming pisabyan. Kekaming pisabi nung ninu ding tuki ampon nanu ing dala mi.

 Kabang mamangan kami, anang aganakang mengutang nitang babai kung wali: Koya, nuya mibait i ating? Nanu mo ing aus mu kaya ngening asawa mu naya? Nanu ing buri-buri nang kakanan? Nanu ing buri nang kule? Ninu reng buri nang magkanta? Nanung kanta ing buri-buri na?Nukarin ya megaral? Nanu ing aldo ning keyang beitan? Nanu la lagyu ding kekang katuangan? Pilan lang mikakapatad, nanung lagyu ra? Nanu ing lugal da Tarlac?

 Kabang mangutang ya itang kanakung wali, akung mimisip malalam nung nanu ing pakibat ku kaya. Aku yang lalawan i Lolit at akung mipapakayli king kanakung sarili. Ikaming adua, pusit-pusit ing kekaming ayli, uling king mipmung kamatutuanan, ala kung balung ipakibat…ala kung kamalayan… at ala kung kabalu-balu karetang ikukutang na nitang kakung wali.

Akung minamin karela:  Eku biyasang manula, inya ikayu nang manupaya. Ikayu na ing bala uling ala kung balu-balu karetang buri yung abalu. Arang agnan-agnan sinabi kanaku: Ay koya, obat makanyan kang mikyasawa, makatula kang tutu, ala ka kabalu-balu king kekang asawa!

 Malakas kaming meyli at karela kung sinabi: Talagang ala kung kabalu-balu, dapot, i ating yung Lolit iyang masanting nang regalu ning Apung Guinu kanaku, malagung regalu kapilan man, eku baren king mabilug bie ku…

 Manibat kanita, aldo-aldo… bengi-bengi… ala kung gewa nune tupad karetang kanakung pengaku king kanakung asawa. Alang penandit ing eke paglolon… susuyuan…luluguran… inya pin yata, king balang banua manganak ya!

Aduang pulung banua na ing milabas, at ing kanakung lugud keya, lalu pang lalam…lalu pang sasakdal…lalu pang babanal…lalu pang maging sagradu.

Nung makananu kung minuling talasawa, iyang kalam maluat kung penalangin king Apung Guinu. Milyari ya iting malagu kung pamakyasawa, pauli ning lugud ku Keya at lugud Na kanaku.











Neng Rodrigo M. Sicat


Mikit la misan aldo ding mikaluguran Tagalug ampon Kapampangan

Ketang lugal atin manyaman pipag-istoryan ausan dang “Eat All You Can”

Uling kasebyan lang alang “H” deting amanuan dang kapampangan

Apalsinta’nang ing kayang kaluguran testingan ne king kayang keynan


Ala yang kamala-malayan ing kaluguran ng Kapampangan keting kayang isipan

Anya, ing buri nang a-testing kening kayang ka-“brother” kaya na yang inumpisan

Makanyan man, bayu ya mengutang ing Tagalug, anang sinabi king keyang sarili

Tingnan ku nga kung papaano ka mag-pronounce  ng “h” sa itatanong ko sa  iyo


Anang megumpisa at ana king pamanagalug na

O bro, ano ba ang bahay sa English sa mga kapampangan?

Aba, balamu mu mo buri na kung pakirakpan, ana ning kukutnan

Ana namang mekibat: anong klaseng bahay ang gusto mo “malaki o maliit?”


Kapag malaki “mansion” at kapag maliit “dwelling o kaya shelter”

Ing mangutang Tagalug mengamus yang buntuk atnang sinabi

Bakit hindi “house” ang sinagot niya, “di ba ‘yon ang  tamang sagot, ana king sarili

Tingnan ku nga ulit kung hindi lilitaw ang pagka-walang “h” nito, ana!


O bro, hindi ba kapag dry season, dinidiligan ang mga halaman

Gamit ang mahabang pandugtong upang maging daluyan ito ng tubig patungo sa mga halaman

Ano ba sa English ang tawag dito ng mga Kapampangan?

Ay, iyon ba? Ang tawag doon ay “plastic tube” o kaya, “water sprinkler”, ana ning kukutnan


Ngek! ana king lub ning mangutang, bakit hindi “hose” ang kanyang kasagutan

Bro, ana na namang ating buring ikutang

“Hindi ba ang tawag sa daan sa baryo ay barangay road, sa probinsya “provincial road”

Ano naman ang tawag sa English sa national road?

E di “Expressway”, anang mekibat mayli ning kitnanan


Ngek! Ana na naman ginamus buntuk ning Tagalug

At anang sasabi king kayang sarili: hindi ba “highway” dapat ang sagot niya,

Magtatanong pa ako ng isa para mahuli ko ang pagka-wala ng “h” niya

O bro, ano ba ang tawag sa English sa paboritong pagkaing karne ng pamilya

Na ang lasa ay manamis namis at tuwing Pasko at New Year ay naka-serve sa mesa?


Ah, masarap iyon di ba, anang mekibat ning Kapampangan

Hindi ba bino-boil pa ‘yon sa pineapple juice at 7 up ne, ana

“Di ba pinapalaman pa ‘yon sa sandwich na pan ne”, ana pa!

Ang tawag doon ay “sweetened pork thigh”, ana kaya!


Ngek! hindi ba “ham” ang tawag doon, anang mipakama ning Tagalug

Ah, old name pa ang binanggit mo, new nomenclature ‘yon, ana ning Kapampangan

Ano naman sa English ang “butas” na pinagtataguan ng mga daga at ahas

E di “burrow” kapag small at “tunnel” kapag big   


Eh, ang inang manok naman, e di “mother chicken”

Eh, ang kabayo naman, e di “stallion” kapag lalaki at “mare” kapag female

Eh, ang bayani, e di “patriot” o kaya kapag sublime “nationalist”

Eh, ang buhok, e di….”wig” o kaya kung gusto mo “toupee”


Ana ning Tagalug king lub na

Bakit angyang makananu, eke atuag a dila ini

Ana na naman ning Kapampangan keng darakap kaya

Bala mu mo siguru ne?

Angyang nanu mu, emu ku agisan perminanti!



Bakit ala lang “H” ding dila tamung Kapampanmgan?



Alang letter “H” keng matuang Sanskrit. Manga-intuliran ing matua neng matua ing salita tamu kawangis ning salitang Ilokano mu naman. Keng isip ku, ing Tagalug indu ne ing Kapampangan at iti menga-ilon yang makapal “h” menibat keng kulturang Intsik.



Migit matua ing kulturang Austronesian a minunang mitanam king kamalayan tamu kesa kareng Intsik mekipangalakal kekatamu. Ing kamalayang Kapampangan misapwak ya king impluwensya ning Austronesial linkages.




A Son’s Reply To His Parent’s Wish

A Son’s Reply to His Parents’ Wish

By Rodrigo M. Sicat 

Dearest mother and father,

I am very glad and thankful 
That your letter reached me with great delight
With my wife and your grandchildren
We preciously opened it with excitement

As we started reading it
Our hearts stilled in tranquility
Our eyes swelled with deep somber
Our minds clouded with either innocence or guilt

Without them going through the whole letter
They were touched and left me alone to read it all personal
I too was stiffed and unmoved, reclined my back to the chair
And began to read it again with empathy and longing

I read and kept reading it several times
After a while, it gently brought back
The affectionate memories of my childhood
That reminded me of your kindness and yearnings

Mother, how can I forget hiding under the bed during summer?
I remember how you excruciatingly ran and restrained my irascibility
And then hauled me off the dark dusty area,
Bath my stinking odor and soily skin which I refused because of my fear of getting fever

As I grew up, I can never forget my enjoyment over the cold rainy days
Ah, the water stepping down the gutter excited me to play and soak in laughter
Peeping through the window, you angrily yelled at me with my brothers for our hardheadedness
And scolded us that we get ill or even rushed by rippling torrents

When I got sick, you are always there to take care of me and stay until I am asleep
When I cried in pain, you are always there to cradle me in your bosom, saying it is okay
In my helplessness, you brooded with your arms to regain my warmth and strength
In my powerlessness, you comforted with your wisdom to restore my vigor and ardor

You sewed my clothes unwearyingly when I was in the elementary school
You washed and ironed out my uniforms uncomplainingly during my high school
I saw you cry and weep in secret when you failed to send me to study in college
I knew the pains of your hearts because you were too sorry over our poverty

Mother, despite that, I saw your sternness in your determination
You consoled my tears to pursue my dream to earn a college degree
You pushed me hard to be shoved the hardest to keep me moving and kicking
We worked together in dreams to reach the impossible dream

You taught me how to strive and survive to muster the best of my nature
You taught me to fly and soar to discover the beauty of the world
You taught me to be agile and flexible to share my gains to others
You taught me to be little and empty to dwell in the city of the Almighty

Father, how can I forget your painstaking efforts to provide my needs?
You did not give us much, but you did your best in your most humble way
I know how you made yourself an occasional worker in many ways:
A farmer, fisherman, carpenter, mason, vendor, an overseas contract worker and more

You helped me appreciate the menial chores that you did dutifully
But never encouraged me to muster them because of their difficulty
Instead, you inspired me to study diligently and sacrificingly
To make my future family live in convenience without intricacy

I seriously took your words with reverence and solemnity
I wholeheartedly cherished them with pledge and gallantry
Which is why, even when tossed into the ground, I stood toughly
In order to vanquish the desolations with infinity

You taught me survival and autonomy
And to chart my destiny independently
I crossed the challenging journeys without honey
And bravely fought the battles with laurels wittingly

Mother, I feel your kindness whenever I see elders around me
Saying “hello” to them is like saying “hello” to you too
Sharing to them my gladness is sharing the same to you
Seeing my wife keeping the house chores is like seeing your youth also

Father, every night as I lay in bed
I am always thinking of you and mother
I understand your worries and wishes
I always keep praying for your peace and safety

How I wish I can do your wishes as frequently so
But the circumstance of time does not allow me too
Remember when we were little kids all seated in the low dining table
Leading us to prayers, each one of you then, patiently attended us with loving care    

I always remember your counsel to entreat my family dutifully
Which is why, I deal your wisdom with great responsibility
I work hard not only for you to be proud of me but also for my family
As you oftentimes said: “We find our success if you succeeded in your family only.”

Father, mother – there is nothing that I do not treasure about your greatness
I loved every moment that you spent for my happiness
There is nothing that were lost about the past memories
Because we share them too to your grandchildren with fondness

God knows the kindness and sublimity of your hearts
He will soothe your wishes and dreams
He will comfort your yearnings and pinings
He will embrace you closer to His loving arms

To God, I shall pray this for you:

Lord, you know all our parents’ sacrifices
That molded us today in Your fold
I thank You for choosing them as our parents
I thank You for making them as good grandparents too

Lord our Father
How can I thank them for what we are today
How can I repay the holiness of their hearts
How can I forget that without them, I won’t be here

Lord my God
It is only You who can reward the race they run for me
Adorn them with Your crown of glory
That they fittingly deserve until eternity

In my constant absence with them, O Lord
Embrace Your caring arms to cradle their fragile bodies
Warm them with Your armor of amour
To be protected from harm and jeopardy

As they taught me to love You dearly Lord
I love them in greater as I love You the Most
This I pray in the sweetest Name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior

Compassionately yours,

Me and my siblings

Post Script

I had your letter read by my brothers and sisters via email
They will join us in coming home this Christmas
To spend great vacation with you until New Year
Your grandchildren with their children will come home too
Because they are enormously excited to listen to your great stories also

I love you, mother and father

God bless you always

King Kanakung Pamagtua

King Kanakung Pamagtua
(Sulat nang Inang at Tatang)
By Rodrigo M. Sicat

King kanakung pamagtua, aintindian mu ku sana
At aku mu kung ipanupaya

Potang ding kanakung mata, ila na lang malulula
Kareng pinggan aku nang makabalbal na
O kaya aku nang atutuag ing sabo babo lamesa
Emu ku sana kakamuan pauli ding gamat kung mabule na

Matua na ku ana’ko, inya, bina na kung mapanamdaman
Atna kung kalunus kening kanakung sarili
Lalu na rugu potang aku mung bubungilan
Kakamwan at gugulisakan

Potang mayna na la ring kanakung balugbug
Eku na lubus atitingiran ing kekang sasabyan
Sana, emu sasabyan kanaku ing misna ku king keklakan
Nung magsilbi sana, keka namung ulitan
Kanita, itang buri buring pabalu kanu itang aytindian

Anak, panaupaya mu ku
Uling taganang matua na ku
Potang mayna na la ring intud ku
Pagtyagan mu sanang saupan kanita mitikdo ku

Kalupa na wari ketang akung antabayanan ka
Ketang pamagpatalan mu
Tatalnan da kang kalakalale
A meging mula ning pamaglakad mu

Panupaya mu ku sana nung madalas kung maging makulit
Uling ing sasabyan ku waring plaka na mung paulit- ulit
Pakiramdaman mu na ku mu
Eku sana maging pikatulan keka
Eka sasawa, pakiramdaman mu na ku mu
Kareng anggang sasabyan ku keka

Anak, atatandanan mo ketang malati ka pa?
Potang bisa kang lobo, paulit ulit mu iting sasabyan kanaku
Papatingapun ka king kakakulit anggang iti eme apasali kanaku
Itang sabla mung kakulitan, kanaku la ngan pagtiyagan
Uli nitang lugud ku keka atnang sakdal at kayumu

Panupaya mu na sana ing kanakung bau
Babau na kung matua, gabun na ing bau ku
Emu na ku sana pipilitang mandilu
Uling keng dimla mayna na ya ing katawan ku

Malagua nayang misakitan ustung iti yang mikarimlan
Detang sakit ku pang aliwa
Kabud a bud lunto la naman
Anak, sana kapilan man, nung masakit ku
Emu ku sana pandiryan

Atatandanan mu pa ba kanitang anak ka pa?
Pagtyagan da kang panagalan
Ketang lalam nitang kekang pitutudturan
Eka bisang pairakap
Eka bisang mandilu uling pota misakitan ka

Panupaya mu sana nung madalas magbugnut ku
Uling siguru dadalan niti ning panga-katwa ku.
Potang tumua ka, abalu mu rin ini
Abalu mu ing masakit panamdaman ku

Potang atin kang ditak panaun, mipag-istorya ka ta sana
Angya rugung saguli mu
Kanita mawala bagya iting lungkut ku

Mainip ku king bale
Patingapun kung magdili-dili
Ala ku mang akasabi
Maliban mu karetang kakung muni-muni

Balu ku ing dakal ka gagawan king obra mu
Dapot buri ku sanang iparamdam keka
Ing atna kung kawang-kawang akapag-istorya ka
Angyang balu kung eka man interesadu
Kareng kukwentu ku keka
Akakait da ka mu, mipapasno ku

Anak, atatandanan mu pa ketang malati ka?
Pagtyagan da kang pakiramdaman at paki-intindyan
Karetang pautal-utal at paputut-putut mung kwento
Lalu na tungkul ketang teddy bear a pyalungan mu

At nung sakaling datang na itang pamikatagun
Sakaling misakitan at mirate na ku king kapanamdaman
Ali mu ku sana pagsawan keng kalulu kung kabilyan
Sesen mu ku sana ampong lingunan
Kanita rugu e ku lunto kalulunusan

Panupaya mu naman sana
Nung king kanakung pipagkeran
Mangapali o magdinat na ku naman
Pagtyagan mu ku sanang lingapan
Angga man sana king tauling penandit ning bie ku
Tutal, anak, karangan nya mu iting bie ku

Potang datang na ing aldo ning kanakung pamaglako
Talanan mu ku sana gamat
Pasiknangan mu ing lub ku
Kanita ayarapan ku
Ing kanakung kamatayan

At eka migaganaka, anak
Bayu ku la ipakat ding kanakung mata
Ipanalangin ku king Mayupaya
Ing ipala na kang manawa
Uling meging malugud ka
Karing kekang inda at tata.


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